I’m quite handy with a screwdriver and why sleep is important.
It’s common for me to wake up several times a night after a very vivid dream. I’m a light sleeper and sometimes feel like I’m in and out of consciousness. Like I simultaneously recognize that I’m tossing and turning in bed while fully experiencing the dream as though it were real.
Last night I woke up at 1:54am and quickly processed the dreams I had. I don’t know anyone who lives in a huge old mansion with wide hallways and tall ceilings: dream. I didn’t see a dead body on the subway platform: nightmare. And I’ve never met Dolly Parton or been in the back seat of a car with Oprah Winfrey during a shootout: dream and dream.
Now wide awake, I (breaking rule #1 of any sleep advice blog) thought about how long the day would be if I couldn’t fall back asleep quickly. But now that I had sorted dreams from reality, my brain decided to process reality.
Is it hot in here? (sits up to check temp.) I wonder how they’ll incorporate that one scene in to the next episode of The Good Wife? (really?) Does that boy like me? (overanalyze.) I should work on my resume in the morning. What kind of job do I want? What if I pick the wrong job? Why would I only pick one job? (worry.) My bed sure is comfy (try to convince brain it should sleep.) My day is going to be so long if I don’t fall asleep soon.
Anyone with insomnia knows, it’s a vicious cycle.
Most adults need 7–8 hours of sleep a night. Good sleep patterns are vital to our mental health (Arianna Huffington has an incredible story and wrote a book about it)… and are especially critical to those of us living with a mental illness. For me, bipolar II disorder.
My top priorities every day are: #1 sleep (enough of it… 7–8 hours), then eating healthy (limit sugar and caffeine); meditation (morning and usually night); exercise (gym, walk, or yoga); writing/journaling (even if only for 5 minutes).
I have discovered, through 20 years of living with a mental illness and finding my groove with it, that I need these things daily to maintain mental and physical health. The two, btw, being intimately connected. And without proper sleep, it throws everything on the list off.
So it’s important… but what can I do when I wake up at 1:54am and I can’t get back to sleep???
Years ago, after my diagnosis, I was prescribed Ambien for insomnia. At the time, I worked morning drive at a radio station so it was typical for me to go to bed super early. One evening I popped an Ambien but got up from bed and went in to the dining room where my roommates were assembling our new table. They had the table flipped upside down on the floor and were screwing on the legs. I walked over, stood on the middle of the table and explained that they clearly needed my help, “I am quite handy with a screwdriver.”
One of them politely took the screwdriver away from me and guided me back to my room where I proceeded to fall in to bed and pass out before my head hit the pillow. I had been taking Ambien for several months, but this was a first. So I did what I should have done in the first place and thoroughly researched the side effects. Ambien occasional side effects include sleep walking, “abnormal thinking,” and “strange behavior.”
Insert image of Angie flushing pills down the toilet.
I’m sure it’s worked fine for some people and I’m not completely anti-medication. Medication for the management of mental illness, especially bipolar is important. But as for sleep, the more natural the better.
Go to bed around the same time every night.
Must. Resist. Scrolling through Twitter.
Take melatonin.
Try meditation.
Listen to Delta Waves for Deep Healing Sleep (it’s my nighttime jam).
Try forming a healthy habit, not taking something that’s habit forming.
And understand that these things, even when combined, don’t ensure a full night sleep. Here’s what the American Psychiatric Association says about sleep and bipolar disorder:
“Sleep disturbance is a core symptom of bipolar disorder. The diagnostic criteria indicate that during manic episodes there may be a reduced need for sleep and during episodes of depression, insomnia or hypersomnia can be experienced nearly every day.”
Exhibit A from my Fitbit sleep tracker:
But don’t let this be discouraging! My daily habits and nightly disciplines work more often than not. In fact, I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. And my sleepless nights occur much less frequently when I stick to my routine. But when those nights do occur… don’t toss and turn. Get up and read for 15 minutes. Listen to a positive meditation.
Or write down those racing thoughts… but wait until morning to sit in front of a screen to post them (*pats self on back*).
If you have tips for how to deal with insomnia or restless sleep please leave a comment below… and heart this post so others can find it and share in the encouragement!
